First Runner-Up
by Qweb
Summary: The Avengers meet for the first time following the events of Iron Man 3, Thor 2 and Cap 2 and discuss who wins the "prize" for superheroics. Spoilers for all.


_Obviously not a Very Good Team story. Based on the activities in Thor 2, Cap 2 and Iron Man 3. Spoilers for all!_

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**First Runner Up**

The Avengers met up for the first time since the Battle of Manhattan. They'd been busy over the last two years. Most of them had been in the news repeatedly, so, of course, Tony Stark was harassing Clint Barton for being "lazy" while the rest of them worked.

Hawkeye just laughed. "I prevented terrorists from exploding a mutagen bomb that would have turned the population of the subcontinent of India into an army of were-tigers. And I did it without destroying a major city."

"Mine was just a small town in Tennessee," Tony muttered mulishly. He eyed Clint like he didn't believe the agent's story, but none of the others seemed inclined to doubt him.

"I know he was in India, but I don't know the details," Natasha Romanoff said.

"It's classified," Steve Rogers agreed. "Rumors said it was something big."

"I was there," Bruce Banner said, surprising the others.

"He found the antidote," Clint said.

"It was in my best interest," Bruce said dryly. Everyone thought about a giant green were-tiger and shuddered.

"In everyone's best interest, I think," Thor agreed.

"And nobody knows about this?" Tony protested.

"He's an agent. He's not supposed to make the news," Natasha said. She was a spy. She appreciated subtlety. Her last mission with Steve had turned out to be anything but subtle. "I think Clint wins."

"Maybe he wins Miss Congeniality," Tony protested. "Mr. Clandestinality, but not the Mr. Superhero title."

The others chuckled at the made-up word. "That's a good one," Clint said. "If you're talking heroics, I have to say Thor wins. That dark elf would have destroyed several worlds, if not for Thor."

"And my friends," the thunder god said. "I could not have done it alone."

"None of us could," Steve agreed. He and Natasha shared a nod.

"I don't know why you're sulking, Stark," Natasha said. "You're never going to win the competition. You were just fighting for your own life — as usual."

The "as usual" might have stung, except for the understanding smile she gave him.

But Tony argued anyway because that what he does.

"I can't help it if people keep attacking me," he protested.

The others, even Thor, looked at him as if he was insane.

"Dude! You gave a terrorist your home address!" Clint exclaimed.

"OK, looking back on it, that may have been a little reckless," Tony admitted.

"Just a trifle," Thor said.

"I will give you the talent contest," Clint offered, returning to the beauty pageant analogy. "You made, what 47 Iron Man suits!"

"Impressive," Thor agreed.

"But as far as superheroics, Nat and Steve beat you out, Tony."

"He destroyed Air Force One," Natasha said, playing devil's advocate.

"Steve destroyed three helicarriers. Three!" Clint countered.

"Just two," Steve said a little sadly, thinking of Bucky. "Sam took out the other one."

"And they made an awful mess of SHIELD," Bruce said.

"It had to be done," Clint said heavily.

"Negative points for that," Tony said, trying to keep the conversation light, though the SHIELD agents all looked glum. "I saved the president. Well, Rhodey did," Tony pointed out brightly.

"Not necessarily a point in your favor," Clint replied.

Tony shrugged agreement, because, politicians!

"The destruction of the flying fortresses saved millions of lives," Thor said. "Does that mean our captain and the fair Lady Natasha win second place in this imaginary competition?"

"First runner up," Clint agreed, but Steve disagreed.

"No, I'd give it to Tony," he said.

They all looked a question at him, even Tony.

"Tony saved Pepper," Steve said, thinking of the one he hadn't saved (yet). "Pepper trumps a million strangers."

No one was willing to argue that. Steve obviously didn't feel very heroic about the destruction of SHIELD and, hey, they all liked Pepper Potts.

"So, first runner up?" Tony asked hopefully, as if he was winning a real prize.

"First runner up," the others agreed.

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_A/N: I apparently wrote this before I saw Cap 2, so I had to change the ending. Hope it didn't get too clunky._


End file.
